Calm

by Pete Wild

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1.
I’m just trying to piece together all the fiddly pieces of this jigsaw puzzle that you left me, pick up all the tricky little things and get on top of the things that keep on getting me down. But it takes time to take the time it takes to take stock of all the things that we lost, when you turned right instead of left and left the rights we had in the dust behind your Tory bus. And I can be calm in your arms. And even I think it’s odd that you could think the odds were only even of me leaving, even in the evenin’ when I was grievin’ for the pieces of my heart that you’d be thievin’. But I’m so down, I can’t turn around, jump down, touch the ground or make a sound. My troubles abound when you are in town, but they’re considerably worse when you’re not around. And I can be calm in your arms. I can be calm in your arms. I’ve learned the ropes and knots And how to weave and weld, So if you break my heart I can fix it up. So I breathe in, counting to four, hold my breath, count to four, just a little more, then I breathe out, counting to eight; I’ve gotta go the fuck to sleep before it gets too late. So I breathe in, counting to four, hold my breath, count to four, just a little more, then I breathe out, counting to eight; I’ve gotta go the fuck to sleep before it gets too late. And I can be calm in your arms. I can be calm in your arms.
2.
I came home one drunken Friday evening to find my father crying on the porch, so I said, “Hey, what’s up dad? Has your computer eaten all your software again?” And he said, “No, I’m afraid it’s much worse than that son. Your mother’s turned into a spider.” I said, “Hey dad, that’s really not terribly feasible.” And he said, “I’ve tried to keep my head and remain rational and reasonable, But it’s hard to think straight when your wife has got eight huge hairy legs, each armed with a claw. I tell you we’ve been married 36 years now, and she’s never done this before. She’s got four extra legs and she weaves enormous webs and she’s started laying eggs all over the place. She’s doubled in size, She’s got six extra eyes She’s started eating flies right in front of my face. She’s really gone completely, Last night she told me sweetly That she had tried to eat me, when we were in bed. It’s worse than I feared, It’s gone way beyond weird, She’s got fangs and a beard growing out of her head.” My mother’s turned into a spider My mother’s turned into a spider My mother’s turned into a spider My mother’s turned into a spider My mother’s turned into a spider My mother’s turned into a spider
3.
Deep down in the winter-side there’s a country season. I feel sad, and I don’t know why, I’ve got no reason. I’ve got no reason. It’s not warm, but it’s not that cold, yet my feet are freezing. My legs are cold, but I’m glad for the jeans that I put my knees in. I put my knees in. I’ve got hives, not the kind that itch, but the kind you put bees in. They used to just milk Jersey cows, but now they’re all Friesians. Now they’re all Friesians. I looked for Jesus in this church, but it’s not the one he’s in. Deep down in the winter-side there’s a country season.
4.
Plastic Man 01:49
You’re a plastic man with a gun in your hand. They say that you’re an action man, I just don’t understand. I just want to feel your beating pulse, And I don’t want to feel so repulsed, And I want you to get up and join in my games, And live up to the adjective in your name, But you’re lying on the ground, You don’t make a sound, You don’t even blink, And I’m pretty sure that you don’t think. You’re a plastic man with a gun in your hand. They say that you’re an action man. I just don’t understand. You’re a plastic man with a gun in your hand. They say that you’re an action man. I just don’t understand.
5.
David Ross Macdonald is moving into Sam’s caravan. Sam bought it across the road for fifty dollars from a man. Dave isn’t worried that it smells and it leaks and the axle’s cracked and the floor boards creak, no, David Ross Macdonald’s put his trust in Sam’s caravan. David Ross Macdonald bought a piece of land for the van. He poured a slab for a house, but everybody knows it’s for the van. Dave’s got plans for a house on his land, but even Dave knows that the best laid plans could end up sleeping in Sam’s caravan. Sam isn’t sad to say goodbye to his van and Dave is glad to have found a friend in Sam and his van. David Ross Macdonald is moving into Sam’s caravan. Even though he knows that Sam bought it across the road for fifty dollars from a man, without a plan. Dave isn’t worried that the lino’s cracked and the cupboards reek and they’re crawling with rats, no, David Ross Macdonald’s put his trust in Sam’s caravan.
6.
This is my home but I don’t feel I belong. I don’t quite understand what is wrong. The heat is heavy and the wind blows strong. I’m gonna miss you now you’re gone. I don’t know what to say, or who I’d say it to if I did anyway. Breaking it to them one by one would break me down. I wish we’d thrown a party and told the whole fucking town. I’d light a candle in my little room, and I’d have breakfast by the light of it and the moon, and I’d be gone by the break of day, but nothing can drag me from my home town, not even knowing that there’s no one around who knows my secrets or understands this frown that I carry around. Take a piece or take it all. I feel selfish and I feel small. But I don’t have no regrets at all, even though I made the call. This is my home but I don’t feel I belong I don’t quite understand what is wrong. The heat is heavy and the wind blows strong. I’m gonna miss you now you’re gone.
7.
Ancestors 04:22
I’m in the car heading south on the Federal Highway, and we’re passing Lake George where they say you shouldn’t go sailing. I look out across the water and there’s hardly a tree to be found and I’m stuck between angry and proud at the work of an ancestor’s hands. We play a game called “who’s first to see Black Mountain Tower” and I got confused by the safety lights on Mount Majura. And she’s friendly, she’s like family. And the mountains that lie close behind. And the planning’s as good as you’ll find. It’s the work of an ancestor’s hands. And when our good great grandchildren have just things that remain of us, let’s hope they’re the good things. ‘Cause I’ve got this lingering question to do with my ancestors, If a wound doesn’t heal, does it fester? Feels like murder to remember. So, if it’s black then I must wear the band ‘cause there’s something I owe to this land for the work of an ancestor’s hands.
8.
Moonshine 03:42
You used to be scared of being lonely, but not alone in feeling scared But when you started fearing company you found some loneliness there. You see sunshine in the starlight and I see moonshine in your eyes, But even smoking cigarettes won’t kill you until the day you die. You brush your teeth twice daily, wearing a long sleeve shirt and a wide brimmed hat. You love deeply, and care sweetly. Oh, all the world could be your friend. We tried to get lost on an island but we could always hear the sea. But then you found yourself an island to get lost on without me. You played songs on your ukulele that changed the world inside my brain. But then you smashed your ukulele, thought it was making you insane. You brush your teeth twice daily, wearing a long sleeve shirt and a wide brimmed hat You love deeply, and care sweetly. Oh, all the world could be your friend. You used to be scared of being lonely, but not alone in feeling scared But when you started fearing company you found some loneliness there. You see sunshine in the starlight and I see moonshine in your eyes, But even smoking cigarettes won’t kill you until the day you die.
9.
Mars 1 05:01
You got a one-way ticket out of this town. You got a one-way ticket; that ship won’t turn around. You’ve got a one-way ticket and there’s no coming back. Oh no, I can’t believe it’s come to that. Hey diddle diddle, that dish will be my spoon. You jumped over the cow and the moon. The signal’s clear from your satellite. There’s no way that I’ll sleep tonight. And your higher that mountains and the clouds roll beneath your feet and the moon rotates daily around a home where we used to meet. Twinkle twinkle, little red star how I wonder how you really are, up above my world so high. I just can’t stop asking why. A big rock weighed down on me, eclipsed my ability to see that things were going much worse for you. Oh god, what did you have to go and do. And how could you be so generous darling and share your life with ten billion souls and leave me here sitting watching it all, all alone? You left green light behind, now there’s red light up ahead. When you said “Forever” you meant, “While we’re in this world”. That’s not the same as “Until we’re dead”. I don’t really mind you following your dreams and drifting away on milky way streams. It just feels awful and nothing like reality when it’s broadcast on 24-hour TV. And your higher that mountains and the clouds roll beneath your feet and the moon rotates daily around a home where we used to meet. And how could you be so generous darling and share your life with ten billion souls and leave me here sitting watching it all, all alone?
10.
Fun Run 05:01
It’s not too far, to the finish line. I’ve just got to pace myself, just gotta run in time. It’s not too far, but my feet are hurting. Blisters are forming, but I run, run, run, run, run. I’ve got myself good rhythm. My legs are lifting high. This must be my second wind. I hope the third wind’s not too far behind. How can they call this a fun run? It don’t seem like fun to me. I’ve been training all year long to impress my family. Lactic acid is crippling my muscles. I pray to the lord that I don’t hit the wall, that I don’t hit the wall. How can they call this a fun run? It don’t seem like fun to me. I’ve been training all year long to impress my family. It’s not too far to the finish line. There’ll be Gatorade girls and cheering family and friends They’ll all say, “You’re the Marathon Man!”
11.
Beside Me 03:19
Take off your coat and take my hand and sit down beside me if you want to on the sand. Take a deep breath and look out to sea. Your time is your time and it’s timeless to me. Reach out your hand and pick up a stone, toss it gently into the deep unknown. And feel the warm spring sun on your skin and close your eyes and rest off the rest of those weary sighs. Your past is yours and mine is mine. Our futures are unknown, but today they seem to rhyme.

credits

released February 13, 2018

youtu.be/l_mXKyVLOOI

All songs by Pete Wild except:
Spider Mother – Barnaby Ward (Baterz)
Ancestors – Pete Lyon
Fun Run – Dominic Bourke, Joel Blakston, and Anto Macaroni
Moonshine – Pete Wild and Ailsa Wild

Produced by Kate Burke and Pete Wild
Recorded at HiHat, Pirate, Bimbaya and Candelo Street Studios
Mixed by Adam Rhodes
Mastered by Ross Cockle at Sing Sing
Photography by Angi High
Design by Pete Wild

Pete Wild – Vocals, Piano, Keyboards, Acoustic Guitar
Robyn Martin – Vocals, Bass
Heath Cullen – Vocals, Electric Guitar
Jay McMahon – Vocals, Percussion
Kate Burke – Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Violin
Eamon McNelis – Trumpet, Flugelhorn
David Hibbert – Electric Guitar on Spider Mother and Fun Run

Big thanks to all the musos, Sam Martin, Mark Sutton & Greg Stott at HiHat, Dave Sparks at Pirate Studios, Luke Plumb, Geoffrey Badger, Eli Badger, Julie Burke, Tim Burke, Jenny Spinks, Chris Allen, Ailsa Wild, Tim Allen, Mabel Martin, Elsa Martin, Toby and Emily Wild.

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